8 ½ x 11
are you fuckin serious
(via martinsnowman)Source: readingandrighting
Mental note: Never be helpful at work ever ever ever again. It will dramatically reduce the urges you experiece of having to kick people in the face.
You’re a bit late MS. I already have a bra that tells me not to eat so much BECAUSE IT DOESN’T FIT RIGHT!
I should have just stayed in bed today. Where it was warm and safe, and free of adulty responsabilities.
It’s not very appropriate to sneak under my desk and just take a nap, right? Didn’t think so. Besides, it’s too cold under there.
Trying to do something productive, but this anxiety/stress/depression/wtf is going on is making it very hard to focus.
Picked it up last week, 7 Nov 13. Today starts day 46. One day at a time.
I have been going to OA Meetings for the past 9 months (started on 31 Jan 13), and I FINALLY have an abstinent 30 days. It hasn’t been easy.
In the past 9 months, I have:
- binged more frequently than I ever had before admitting I had an eating disorder.
- ugly-cried in the shower about how terribly I have been treating myself
- met some lovely people
- kicked the soda and ketchup habits (big binge triggers for me)
- worked a program that didn’t work for me (fake it till you make it)
- tweaked said program so that it DOES work for me
- tried and failed, and tried and succeeded at meal planning
- narrated what I should include in my amends to my MBFF and DME, but have yet put pen to paper
- realized that it’s OK to take time to care for myself without feeling guilty
- volunteered for service at my home meeting
- realized that I am not suffering alone
- internalized that I do not need to EAT MY FEELINGS
Things to work on for the next 30 days:
Step work in the Workbook (Inventory)
Following up with group members (Phone calls, texts)
Setting up a more structured approach with my Sponsor.
Learning what HP has planned for me, and what I’m supposed to be learning from situations that don’t work out like I had anticipated/wanted.
Today (2 Dec 13) is my 28th birthday. I am also celebrating being binge free for 60 days. (No, I did not plan it this way, but what a fortunate coincidence!) I have survived difficult family members at Thanksgiving, my archnemesis and general awkward moments at my high school’s 10 year reunion, and a crappy and lonely birthday at work.
At the begining of the year, I had a goal to be a certain weight by my birthday. (I want to match what my driver’s license says.) I did not obtain that goal, but THAT’S OKAY! This is more than just about weight. This is about being comfortable in my own skin and being comfortable with my feelings. So that I don’t have to stuff my face and numb myself from enjoying life.
*insert happy dance here* Here’s to another year of self-discovery and development!
I can do this! One day at a time!